Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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