so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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