I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize