Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
