Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
