Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
