Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
