I'm so fucking centered right now
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
