I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize