One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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