i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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