so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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