i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
