I'm lost and stupid without you.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
