And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
