Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
