The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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