It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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