Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
