you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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