The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
