He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
