you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I look better un-naked...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
