i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize