it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You need Xanax blowdarts
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
