Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
