I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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