Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
