Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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