Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
