He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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