i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize