Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
