Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
