nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize