8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
