how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
