I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize