and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
