You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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