speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I believe in your delicious
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
