This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
