Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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