Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
