I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
