i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
