Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
