he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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