i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
