yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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