After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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