I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Randomize
