At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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