chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
