i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
