You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
