chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
