Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You ruined the universe
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
