The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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