We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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