Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
