Where did you get a picture of my penis
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
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