my sisters under your porch take her home
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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