So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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