you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
