It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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