Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
