Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
