You're so nebulous sometimes
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
