I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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