M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
