I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
