haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize